Student Who Said “Natty” Three Times In Front Of Mirror Accidentally Summoned Spirit Of Jimbo Fisher
Kayson Harris, a junior business major who still believes in the Fightin’ Texas Aggie football team, accidentally summoned the angry spirit of Jimbo Fisher to his apartment bathroom last night.
Harris was purportedly looking into the mirror and convincing himself that A&M still had a chance to win a “Natty”.
“I said the word three times, as a sort of mantra,” Harris said. “Jimbo appeared right behind me, and then just started shouting at me.”
According to Harris, Fisher immediately began yelling that “the score is always 0-0” and “we ain’t done yet.”
The apartment building’s security had to be called to remove the spirit, which was no small feat. Eventually, they managed to lure him outside with the promise of a ten-year guaranteed haunting contract at Kyle Field.
“I still can’t believe what happened,” Harris said. “I was so shocked when he appeared behind me. Do you think this is a sign that we’ll really win a natty next year?”
While unable to speak to Harris’ final question, the fact that he summoned former head coach Jimbo Fisher is incredible largely because Fisher is not dead yet. Summoning a spirit from one still living is nigh unheard of.
Preliminary hypotheses hold Jimbo’s dead coaching career and the death of his dream of an Aggie trophy as the catalysts for his appearance. The Texas A&M Paranormal Society has been called to investigate the matter.
— Batt-atouille
The Battalion has a rat infestation, and one of these filthy rodents found its way onto our staff. We discovered him deep in the sewers under Sbisa after a long shift of hiding under the head chef’s hat. Now, he loves writing for us just as much as he loves pulling hair. When he’s not busy in the dining hall kitchen or writing articles for the other “publication” on campus, he cooks up articles for us. We’re happy to have him on our team, even though he leaves a copious amount of health code violations in his trail.