Equestrian Budget Cuts to Pay Jimbo’s Buyout Leads to Euthanization of 3 Horses
In a press conference on Sunday, Texas A&M athletic director Ross Bjork stated that all funds for Jimbo Fisher’s buyout would come from the 12th Man Foundation and the athletics program, implying incoming budget cuts for many teams.
“For optics, it was key that no teams were disbanded and that scholarships for athletes were unaffected,” Bjork said. “Unfortunately, to achieve that on the equestrian team, this meant that Seabiscuit, Dakota, and Bullseye, had to be put to sleep.”
Members of the equestrian were furious about this decision, with team captain Marcia Walters in vigorous opposition.
“I know that football funds almost the entire athletic program, but I don’t see why other sports have to pay for their mistakes,” Walters said. “Sure, we don’t generate as much ticket revenue, but at least we actually win. Why shouldn’t the football team’s budget get slashed?”
In contrast to Walters’ remarks, it has been made clear by the athletics department that the football team’s budget is untouchable, with several new buildings and lavish events still planned for the Spring.
As a gesture of goodwill, Bjork listed each horse on Craigslist with a starting price of one million dollars, offering the team a chance to “repay their debts” and “make him whole” by paying for the horses’ freedom.
— Batt for Both Teams
A softball extraordinaire, Batt for Both Teams was an up-and-coming player of Texas A&M’s own. One fateful day after too little sleep under a too-bright sun, Batt for Both Teams stumbled from the outfield and into the batter’s box. She hit a home run that day, but for the wrong team. Now, neither of her partners will let her live it down. We just hope the sun doesn’t get too bright for her to write something for some other newspaper on campus… But that probably won’t happen… right?