Underage Overachiever Dunks Ring in Apple Juice
On November 3rd, 19-year-old Becky Barnes, a sophomore in Telecommunication Media Studies, will receive her long-awaited Aggie Ring but, due to her age, will be unable to perform the ring dunk in the traditional form of a pitcher of beer.
Barnes came into Texas A&M with numerous high school credits, took five wintermester courses, and added in 19 credit hours over the summer. Finally, during the Summer 2023 semester, Barnes BTHO 90 credit hours.
As a proud Aggie, Barnes was determined to participate in the ring dunk tradition even though she was only 19 years old. To get around this obstacle, Barnes made a choice that has left the student body flabbergasted: she will dunk her ring in a pitcher of apple juice.
This declaration was met with resistance and disapproval from Kyle Tolliver, a senior marketing major.
“While I congratulate Becky on her accomplishment, I think it is important to uphold the values and traditions of our beloved university,” Tolliver said. “I mean, what’s next? Water? Herbal Tea? I don’t care how old she is, you have to do it in beer.”
Barnes had an empowering and compelling response. “They’re just jealous.”
This incident has sparked a conversation about tradition, revolution, and the importance of alcoholism to being an Aggie.
Barnes’ ring dunk will be open to all ages and will occur at Hurricane Harry’s on November 4th at 9:30 p.m. However, sources have revealed that many are planning to boycott in protest.
— Rev’s Rave Yard
If you ever find yourself at the Reveille graveyard by the north end of Kyle Field, stop and listen for a moment. If it’s the morning, you might hear Company E-2 jogging over to come haze their freshmen and PT on top of the decaying canine bodies. But, if it’s night time, you just might hear the thumping of a bass. Go to the nearest manhole cover, climb down the ladder, and follow the flashing lights to see what’s really below those tombstones: the best nightclub in all of BCS. Whether you’re there for the music, the drinks, or the ever-enduring Aggie Spirit emanating from the Reveille’s’ corpses, you’ll find Rev’s Rave Yard DJing on the stage and throwing the best party every weekend. And y’all already know, the party doesn’t stop ’til Rev barks.