Slob Roommate Shocked to Find No Clean Dishes
On October 23rd, 2023, Moses Maddox of 7237 Fairview Avenue was surprised when he reached to grab a dish for his dinner but was met with only an empty cabinet.
Moses, a junior chemistry major, is known around the house for leaving dishes in the sink to “soak” for weeks, never loading or unloading the dishwasher, and just generally not cleaning up after himself.
“It’s always interesting to see what Moses eats throughout the day or really throughout the week,” John Beaton, one of Moses’ roommates, said. “Through the crumbs lingering around the kitchen or the dirty dishes in the sink, I’m able to get a good feel for his menu that week.”
While a high-achieving student in his classes, Moses found it difficult to understand why there were no available clean dishes.
“Normally, the plates and bowls magically appear cleaned in the cabinet a few days after I use them,” Maddox said. “Maybe the cleaning fairies took off this week or something.”
Despite numerous attempts by his roommates to confront Moses on his sloppy habits, Moses reportedly left queso on the couch cushion last night after his NFL watch party.
— Batt for Both Teams
A softball extraordinaire, Batt for Both Teams was an up-and-coming player of Texas A&M’s own. One fateful day after too little sleep under a too-bright sun, Batt for Both Teams stumbled from the outfield and into the batter’s box. She hit a home run that day, but for the wrong team. Now, neither of her partners will let her live it down. We just hope the sun doesn’t get too bright for her to write something for some other newspaper on campus… But that probably won’t happen… right?