Texas A&M Football Fans Pretty Sure We Aren’t Winning National Championship
At 6:14 p.m., October 14th, Texas A&M lost to Tennessee, leading Aggies all around the globe and various leading experts on football to finally conclude that the season is indeed over.
This message comes as no surprise to the casual Aggie, or anybody uninvested in Texas A&M’s 2023 football season, but was devastating news to slews of 12th Men looking to the Tennessee game as the start of a season revival.
Senior Travis Jones commented on the state of the team after the loss.
“This really was the nail in the coffin. I know it sounds like a longshot, but if we won against Tennessee, and South Carolina, and Ole Miss, and Mississippi State, and ACU, and LSU, and Alabama lost to Auburn and LSU, we had a shot at the National Championship,” Jones said. “Now we really have nothing.”
Jones opted not to comment when asked why he still believed the team had a chance after the Miami loss, however his friend, Mason Smith, did.
“Well, there’s always still a chance. It’s not over yet,” Smith said. “If we lose against South Carolina, then it’s REALLY going to be over, so we just need to watch out for that.”
When asked whether the group knew about the legend of Sisyphus, they reported that they did not.
— Boot Macer
For any cadets that may be reading this, you surely are already wary of typical boot chasers that prey on you for first deck tickets. Boot Macer, however, is a much more significant threat. She hides in the bushes, waiting for a zip lost in thought before she strikes, blinding them with her pepper spray and taking their boots. Nobody knows what she looks like since she strikes so fast, nor why she feels it’s necessary to rebel against the Corps in this way. Boot Macer’s hobby has been great for us, however, as we’ve enjoyed having access to a closet full of boots of many different sizes. We try to not ask too many questions, lest we become Boot Macer’s next target.