Student Bonfire Lingo For Dummies: Cut Edition

• Log
  • That’s the dream, baby.
• Skid
  • A twig you shove under logs you dropped in the middle of the woods and don’t feel like moving.
• Highport
  • Anything marginally larger than a coffee can that could be put on the skid without getting yelled at.
• JRP
  • Aww, is the wittle wed man weally angwy? wabble wabble
• JRP walk
  • Like a crip walk, but less exciting – the perfect balance between a pregnant woman’s waddle and the way Popeye walks after popping a can of ‘nach.
• SRPs & DRPs
  • Usually found in Leggett woods.
• Pot
  • If you take this off in the woods one of the JRPs will give you a kiss.
• Wedge
  • They say only chiefs are supposed to start these, but if no one’s looking who’s gonna stop you?
• Backwedge
  • Something that happens every cut, usually in Krueger woods. Summons JRPs like a red Batsignal.
• Table
  • Oh no, my table!
• Fall path
  • A fun place for fish to stand.
• Headache
  • I thought it was “heading.”
• Tractor path
  • Block this whenever possible. UL will thank you!
• Toucan
  • Have you found it yet? Legend has it that only Rick Perry has ever actually seen one…
• Grodes
  • If your grode jeans can’t stand up by themselves by the end of the season, you weren’t working hard enough.

• Load
  • WALTON LOADS (so you don’t have to).

• Cut Card
  • Big Bonfire’s ploy to swindle you out of another $5.

• Fish
  • They like brush.  Unfortunately, they also swing like Little League players.
• Olds
  • They think they’re special, but they’re really just fish with privileges.
• Brownpot
  • I need a BROWNPOT, with a CHAINSAW, and an ENORMOUS, GIRTHY, INCREDIBLE personality!
• C-saw
  • The Brownpots’ illegitimate children. Fish are encouraged to pet them. They like the attention.
• Greenpot
  • Women
• Yellowpot
  • My editors have advised me not to publish what I wanted to write.
• Ace
  • A small, hairy villain.  Multiple attempts on his life have resulted in defeat, for he remains living.  The bounty still stands…

— Batt-atouille