Student Body President Dislocates Shoulder After Reaching for Reasons Not to be Impeached

Student Body President Hudson Kraus is currently receiving urgent medical attention for a dislocated shoulder he suffered while reaching desperately for reasons he should not be impeached.

“He checked in this morning,” Dr. Harold Johann, the chief physician at Beutel, said. “He said he was writing his apology letter when his shoulder suddenly popped out of its socket. We speculate that it’s due to the incredible contortions he had to go through to find reasons not to be impeached.”

While Kraus is currently unresponsive and unable to comment at the time of this writing, Johann said he is lucky that his injury isn’t any more severe.

“If he had kept going with the letter, his arm may have completely come off,” Johann said. “The human body simply isn’t meant to stretch in such impossible positions.”

Despite his current condition, Kraus is expected to recover in time for his coming impeachment trial.

“Oh, he’ll be alright,” Johann said. “We just need to keep a close eye on him during the trial in case he relapses. We’re expecting it, to be honest, so we’ll have an ambulance waiting outside.”

— Mugdown Staff