Trend of Jumping in Front of Bus to Earn Free Tuition Picks Up Speed
A new craze has swept across Texas A&M of jumping in front of speeding Aggie Spirit Busses to get free tuition thanks to early adopters like sophomore finance major Allison Hide, who was hit by a bus while jaywalking across Olsen Boulevard on her way to ACCT 229 last Tuesday.
Hide credits her successful business move directly into a bus to the way the Mays Business School has taught her to think outside of the box and produce creative new ideas as a transformational leader looking to advance the world’s prosperity.
“The cost-benefit… analysis… here just makes… perfect sense,” Hide, on her way to the nearest emergency room, said in between gasps for air. “Free tuition… is earned… not given.”
University transportation officials have issued a statement discouraging participation in this new trend, but the number of students launching themselves into Aggie Spirit Buses continues to increase each day.
— Bizzle Blazer
Known as the scourge of pedestrians, Bizzle Blazer is notorious for his disregard of campus traffic rules and stop signs as he flies down the campus streets on his trusty moped. Bizzle Blazer owns this campus, a fact he makes sure to let you know each time he claims another sidewalk or bike rack as his personal parking spot. While it may be hard to appreciate him as he nearly runs you over on the sidewalk, Bizzle Blazer is always happy to provide a ride to any Aggie in a rush. Just make sure to hold on tight because Bizzle Blazer exclusively travels at his moped’s maximum speed of 35 miles per hour.