Outlaw Veocycle Clubs Taking Over Texas A&M Campus
The Veodidos and Yells Angels, two outlaw Veocycle clubs notorious for smuggling and running over pedestrians, have begun turf expansions onto Texas A&M’s campus. According to university security, gang activity generally takes place late at night.
“We’ve seen them holding drag races on Bizzell and drifting the bikes around Fish Pond,” Wanda Potomack, a university security officer, said. “We’ve tried to apprehend them a number of times, but they somehow always manage to outrun our segways.”
Both clubs are suspected of smuggling food items across the borders of dining halls, financing their 25-cents-a-minute operations with waffles, Froot Loops, and cookies.
The gangs consider themselves rivals, and the club-on-club violence has been fierce. Recent reports indicate that the Veodidos suspended a Yells Angel member’s bike in a tree. The Angels responded by tipping over the Veodidos’ bikes while they were partying on Northgate.
University officials are urging caution and labeled both groups as “two-percenter outlaw clubs.” Students are strongly encouraged to stay off university roads after dark and be vigilant for teal-tinted shadows lurking in the night.
— Batt-atouille
The Battalion has a rat infestation, and one of these filthy rodents found its way onto our staff. We discovered him deep in the sewers under Sbisa after a long shift of hiding under the head chef’s hat. Now, he loves writing for us just as much as he loves pulling hair. When he’s not busy in the dining hall kitchen or writing articles for the other “publication” on campus, he cooks up articles for us. We’re happy to have him on our team, even though he leaves a copious amount of health code violations in his trail.