Tuesday, November 5, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Least Talented Person You Know Opens Stall at Local Farmer’s Market

By Walton, Texas Ranger , in Special Occasion , at September 13, 2023

On Monday at Lake Atlas, MacKenzeigh Grace Langstrom, a junior marketing major at Texas A&M, attended her first farmer’s market as a vendor despite knowingly having no discernible skills in crafts.

“Something we learn all about in business school is finding a niche in the market,” Langstrom said. “When I realized how great the need was for hand painted buttons and refrigerator magnets, I knew I had to act fast. I don’t know how to paint, so I’ve just been using double-sided tape and pictures I printed off from the internet. Buttons are $25, magnets are $35.”

Langstrom’s designs are as wide-ranging as they are innovative. Nowhere in College Station can you find a more complete collection of animal clip art, Bible verses, astrological symbols, and vaguely LGBT-affirming messages than at her table.

“MacKenzeigh Grace is one of the most inspiring go-getters I have seen here,” Jerrell Palmer, a designer of clothes for bananas so you can dress them up as minions, said. “Despite her tenuous grasp on valuing goods and complete lack of artistic ability, she hocks junk with the best of us.”

With the success of her first outing as an artisan, Langstrom is already planning an expansion of her business model. She plans to invest her profits in a rock tumbler and start selling tumbled pieces of glass bottles she finds outside her Northgate apartment.

— Walton, Texas Ranger