Student Spends More Time Calculating Needed Grade on Final than Actually Studying
Timothy Counce, a general engineering major, has spent countless hours shuffling through his syllabi, attempting to calculate what he needs to get on his finals to pass his classes while spending no time studying for said finals.
As Timothy read his syllabi for the first time, he realized how complex grade calculations are and started to regret testing out of college algebra, as he struggled to accurately calculate his own grades.
Timothy chose to perform these calculations to “ease his mind” about studying for finals, instead of actually studying. After successfully determining that he needs a 135% on his physics final, his mind is far from at ease.
Timothy is now met with yet another conflict: to either give up all hope completely or to cram a semester’s worth of material into his brain in a last-ditch effort to remain in academic good standing.
— Bizzle Blazer
Known as the scourge of pedestrians, Bizzle Blazer is notorious for his disregard of campus traffic rules and stop signs as he flies down the campus streets on his trusty moped. Bizzle Blazer owns this campus, a fact he makes sure to let you know each time he claims another sidewalk or bike rack as his personal parking spot. While it may be hard to appreciate him as he nearly runs you over on the sidewalk, Bizzle Blazer is always happy to provide a ride to any Aggie in a rush. Just make sure to hold on tight because Bizzle Blazer exclusively travels at his moped’s maximum speed of 35 miles per hour.