Ranking Engineering Majors from Least to Most Smelly
The question that’s been haunting us since the moment we stepped on Texas A&M’s campus: which engineering major smells the worst??????? After months of intense research during which we personally performed an olfactory analysis on five key areas of every single engineering student, we are finally ready to release our definitive ranking of engineering majors from best to worst smelling:
#15 Ocean Engineering
Not sure if this major actually exists, but I assume they smell like a cool ocean breeze on a warm summer’s day.
#14 Industrial Engineering
Smell slightly worse than business majors.
#13 Biomedical Engineering
Too busy trying to earn their parents’ love to shower.
#12 Environmental Engineering
Environmental engineers are occupationally obligated to always be sweaty in order to illustrate the effects of climate change.
#11 Chemical Engineering
After millions of dollars and years of research spent attempting to chemically reduce body odor, chemical engineers have gone from smelling like poop to smelling like crap.
#10 Electrical Engineering
Still unable to transform their stench to phasor domain.
#9 Mechanical Engineering
Despite their in-depth knowledge of thermodynamics, they still have not considered putting on antiperspirant.
#8 Computer Science
There’s no Python module you can install to give you good hygiene.
#7 Computer Engineering
There’s no C++ library you can ins— Computer science but worse.
#6 Materials Engineering
No amount of materials engineering has been able to produce a substance with a worse odor than its own students.
#5 Biological and Agricultural Engineering
Obligatory joke about smelling like cow manure.
#4 Civil Engineering
Their sweat can melt steel beams.
#3 Nuclear Engineering
The half-life of their stench has been calculated to outlast the sun.
#2 Aerospace Engineering
In space, no one can smell your body odor. But we sure can down here.
#1 Petroleum Engineering
The worst smell of all: lack of moral fiber.
You’re fighting for your life, sweating bullets on a flag room couch. You got in a wrestling match with a Kyle Field bat and the bat won. He whooped you faster than a junior-by-hours. He beat the 12th man out of you. You better be glad he let you keep on ever-living… ever-loving… You’re alive, but now you feel it coursing through your veins: pure rage in the form of a viral infection. Sure you could get treatment, but old army’s tougher than that. Reveilles 1 through 8 would be rolling in their graves. There’s only one redass, good bull way to handle this. Say it with me now. BEAT. THE. HELL. OUTTA. RABIES. Whoop!