BREAKING: Peer Tutor Just As Confused As You Are
Yesterday at 12:56 pm, an audio clip leaked of computer science peer tutor Joshuah Browland telling a student that he also had no idea what was going on with that assignment.
“I mean, it’s kinda in the name. We are peers, so I know about as much as you do,” Browland said on the tape.
This excerpt comes from an hour-long recording of Browland helping an unidentified sophomore with an “idiotic” CSCE 121 assignment about “some Mars Rover crap.” Browland spent 75 percent of this hour complaining about the project’s instructions and structure, 20 percent slandering C++, and 5 percent showing people in his vicinity “dank memes.”
The remaining 0 percent of the time was spent accurately identifying the problems the student was having. With his lunch break approaching, Browland pulled up a code solution on GeeksForGeeks for the student before shirking his responsibilities.
This leak confirms years of speculation from that one guy sitting in the corner of all your classes who keeps his ear buds in the whole lecture. “I knew these people weren’t smarter than me. They never could find the bug in my linked list code,” Greg Pentham, still with his earbuds in, said. “But now, I’ve found the bug in them.” Experts are unsure if Pentham will ever stop the maniacal laugh that followed this statement.
As a replacement for peer tutoring and to restore the student body’s faith in the university, Texas A&M University will be issuing all undergraduate students free access to a communal Chegg account.
— BTHO RABIES
You’re fighting for your life, sweating bullets on a flag room couch. You got in a wrestling match with a Kyle Field bat and the bat won. He whooped you faster than a junior-by-hours. He beat the 12th man out of you. You better be glad he let you keep on ever-living… ever-loving… You’re alive, but now you feel it coursing through your veins: pure rage in the form of a viral infection. Sure you could get treatment, but old army’s tougher than that. Reveilles 1 through 8 would be rolling in their graves. There’s only one redass, good bull way to handle this. Say it with me now. BEAT. THE. HELL. OUTTA. RABIES. Whoop!