Callaway House Claims Mold Part of New Spa Package
On Monday, residents of Callaway House were given door hangers advertising building-wide spa treatments at no additional cost. The marketing material announced that the organic mold growing on residents’ walls and ceilings provides a variety of health benefits for students.
The launch of the program was highlighted on the Callaway House website. “Student success and well-being are our top priorities,” the announcement post said. “So we’re excited to use mold to provide sinus clearing and create a comforting natural environment.”
Despite skepticism from the scientific community, residents and community stakeholders alike have reportedly appreciated the extra layer of luxury. “I’m so glad they’re doing this,” resident John Loya said. “I hope this mold thing stops that mysterious cough I’ve been having!” Later that day, Texas A&M Athletics tweeted their appreciation for corporate social responsibility and praised their long-standing partnership with Callaway House for promoting student health.
When pressed for comment, Callaway House’s property management team said that they would not respond due to pending litigation.
—MSC++
You may have never seen MSC++ on campus, but you have definitely heard the sound of his mechanical keyboard. According to legend, MSC++’s first words as a child were “Hello World;”; not in English, in ASCII. His go- to first date is a technical interview, and his love language is assembly. ChatGPT asks MSC++ how to do its homework. We lied that we were a tech start up to get him to join, and he still hasn’t figured it out yet.