Chilifest Groupon Takes Excited Fraternity Members to Chili’s Instead of Music Festival
Last Saturday, a Groupon mishap brought fraternity members to a Chili’s for dinner. Sources familiar with the students confirmed that the group had accidentally bought tickets to Chili’s weekend happy hour rather than the renowned country music festival Chilifest in Snook, Texas.
“All things considered, this works too,” senior fraternity member Tristan Adams said while finishing his sixth margarita of the night. “All we wanted to do was get drunk and hear some country music, and as long as they keep playing this radio station at the bar, we’re all good. Plus, they have indoor, nature-free bathrooms here!”
“It was an honest mistake,” a freshman pledge said when asked how the group ended up at Chili’s that night. “I wanted to get a good deal on tickets, and the ad talked a lot about free drinks.”
Although the group did not make it to Chilifest, Adams said the experience still “preserved the spirit” of Chilifest, as no one went home sober.
— Hannibal Lechner
While Hannibal might come across as some psychotic murderer, he’s really just a University Honors student, got it? Yeah sure, he makes prolonged eye contact as you pass by the couches in the Lechner hallway, and his intense obsession with true crime podcasts might make you uneasy, but he’s maybe only a little bit of a sociopath at best. Leave the serial killer vibes to McFadden, okay?