The Battalion to Begin Releasing Articles Generated on ChatGPT
Yesterday morning, The Battalion announced that 100 percent of its articles would be AI-generated by 2024. The operational overhaul comes after going over budget on papyrus and quill pens for the third consecutive year.
“Let’s be honest for a second,” Gavin LeBlanc, a writer for the opinion desk, said. “We’ve been on autopilot for a long time now anyway. Many people were shocked to hear that The Battalion released full-length articles, to begin with.”
Frequent criticism from both administration and disgruntled 50-somethings on Facebook was also been cited as a demoralizing factor in human contribution. “Those boomers thought they could hurt our feelings,” LeBlanc said of their Facebook comment section. “Too bad it’s Artificial Intelligence, not Artificial Emotions!”
The Battalion is also rumored to be developing AI for predictive sports reporting. Full articles have already been generated and reportedly find there are no championships in sight.
–Downtown Cryin’
After the crowds of first Friday have settled down for the night, the sobs of Downtown Cryin’ can be heard from blocks away. Legend has it he was told he could take a bus to the game from Downtown Bryan, but it never came. And he haunts those streets to this day.