Man Who Stole Towel From Rec Center Facing up to 17 Years in Prison
Last Tuesday, super senior architecture major and bodybuilding enthusiast Craig Johnson pleaded guilty and faces up to 17 years in prison for four separate accounts of towel theft from Texas A&M University Rec Centers.
Johnson was arrested after campus police obtained a search warrant for the glovebox of his MINI Cooper. Inside, they found 13 towels identical to those available to be rented at Texas A&M Rec Centers. Forensic analysis of the towels confirmed the presence of Johnson’s sweat all over them.
Initially, Johnson tried to claim innocence by saying he had ordered 13 identical towels on Amazon. However, after campus authorities got ahold of Johnson’s Amazon purchase history, his lawyers convinced him to take the plea deal offered by the Aggie Honor Council, pleading guilty to only four accounts of towel theft. This leaves Johnson with a maximum sentence of 17 years in prison and a minimum sentence of 16 years in prison.
Despite accepting the plea deal, Johnson still believes this ordeal is a gross miscarriage of justice.
“My sweat was planted on those towels by campus police,” Johnson said. “Everyone knows that nobody actually uses their rec towels to wipe down the equipment.”
— BTHO Rabies
You’re fighting for your life, sweating bullets on a flag room couch. You got in a wrestling match with a Kyle Field bat and the bat won. He whooped you faster than a junior-by-hours. He beat the 12th man out of you. You better be glad he let you keep on ever-living… ever-loving… You’re alive, but now you feel it coursing through your veins: pure rage in the form of a viral infection. Sure you could get treatment, but old army’s tougher than that. Reveilles 1 through 8 would be rolling in their graves. There’s only one redass, good bull way to handle this. Say it with me now. BEAT. THE. HELL. OUTTA. RABIES. Whoop!