Dying Student Orginization’s New President Vows Radical Change, Switches to Slack
On Tuesday, Janie West, the newly elected president of the Legion of Engineers, announced breakthrough changes in the face of declining membership and quickly dissolving programs. To pull her organization out of the nosedive and bring the Legion back to its former glory, West will be switching the official communication platform to the messaging service Slack.
“I’ll be the first to admit last year was a mess,” West, a senior civil engineering major, said. “But I think we can all agree that shit show was merely the result of a communication breakdown.”
The Legion of Engineers, once considered a pillar of the engineering community at Texas A&M University, has been gradually losing members and faced record-low numbers last semester. They had to cancel every event except a Northgate bake sale. “Yeah, that was all because of GroupMe,” West said.
“Slack is a much more professional service and I have personally championed this decision for a long time,” John Carren, a senior industrial distribution major and executive secretary of LOE, said.
Carren is well-known within the organization for playing solitaire on his phone during meetings for most of the last three semesters.
The LOE is wasting no time in the transition and has already used Slack to send out its first weekly newsletter. Members reported this communiqué was just an empty PDF document with a QR code to pay dues.
—Walton, Texas Ranger
Coming from a long line of beef cattle barons, Walton, Texas Ranger knows his way around a slab of meat. You can usually find him at Rosenthal in between the tenderloin and beef shoulder. He’s the envy of every man on the Aggie Barbecue team and the apple of every horse girl’s eye and, honestly, we can’t blame them.