Construction Workers Earn Degrees After Straight Four Years of Work on Campus
Texas A&M University announced that construction workers will be granted degrees after spending years tearing down and rebuilding all areas of campus.
Workers who have spent at least four years on campus are eligible for bachelor’s degrees in communication, and geography along with a project management minor. Workers with 10 years of on-campus experience can receive diplomas from select master’s programs. Workers with three or fewer years of service are eligible for certificate programs.
“By honoring our local construction workers, we plan to remove stigma and hatred toward our traffic issues through providing workers with educational chances,” university spokesperson Duke Bowen said. “We hope to improve the daily lives of the workers and commuters all across College Station, and maybe even Bryan if we’re lucky.”
— Middle Class Missionary
Middle Class was always the disappointment of the family. He was born to the family of Swedish death metalheads that founded Hot Topic, but never took an interest in music, the supernatural, or anything alternative. That all changed when one day he picked up a little book written by a fella named Jesus Christ. Soon he would be traveling around the world, spreading the good word at sold out stadiums. Along the way, he picked up more than an acoustic guitar and an affinity for ham-boning. He made a lot of money too! After achieving peak global success, he realized his true purpose in life: to build an ever bigger Protestant church down the street from St. Mary’s.