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College of Engineering Announces ETAM Will Be Replaced By “Hunger Games Style” Battle Royale

By BTHO Rabies , in Campus Life , at January 24, 2023 Tags: , , ,

On January 18th, the  College of Engineering announced the traditional entry-to-a-major, or ETAM,  process will be replaced with a Hunger Games-style battle royale known as ETAM 2.0.

 

“We want to be the best university we can be,” Interim Dean Dr. John E. Hurtado said. “To achieve this goal, we need only the best students at Texas A&M. What better way to separate the true engineering students from those who belong in the business school than with a friendly fight to the death.”

Hurtado assured students that the quality of their classwork will still matter for ETAM 2.0. For example, students with higher GPAs will be given better starting weapons.

“Today’s economy is cutthroat, so we should prepare our students to be cutthroat, too,” President Kathy Banks said.

Despite the vicious, premature end coming to many of their lives, this news has been received positively by the engineering student body with many saying the process

ETAM 2.0 will be hosted in a 3.14-acre portion of the RELLIS campus on Monday, May 1st. Tickets can be purchased through the Howdy Portal, and exclusive streaming rights have been sold to ESPN.

 

— BTHO Rabies