Chief Student Officer Embezzles Membership Dues to Pay for Personal Mental Health Day
After another hectic meeting spent advertising for a profit share and reminding members of the absence policy, the president of Aggie Women in Supply Chain (AWSC), Janie Barton, slipped $35 from the collected dues envelope into her backpack. Barton plans to use this money to pay for a mental health day to recover from all the struggles she faces as a chief student officer.
“If anything, this is really just how the organization can pay me back for all the things I do for this org,” Barton said. “General members have no idea how taxing it is to run a whole organization as big and hectic as ours.”
When asked what she plans to do with the money, Barton told us that she will be getting her nails done, and buying an iced coffee to sip while she sends follow up texts to unresponsive members.
— Hannibal Lechner
While Hannibal might come across as some psychotic murderer, he’s really just a University Honors student, got it? Yeah sure, he makes prolonged eye contact as you pass by the couches in the Lechner hallway, and his intense obsession with true crime podcasts might make you uneasy, but he’s maybe only a little bit of a sociopath at best. Leave the serial killer vibes to McFadden, okay?