Dear Reveille, Pissy Kitty

Dear Reveille,

 

My roommate let my foster cat into her hallway WITHOUT my consent, left her unsupervised, and is now blaming me for the damage to her carpet. Advice?

—Pissy Kitty

 

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Pissy Kitty,

 

This will be a classic case of “lose the battle to win the war.” You’ll have to let this one slide, but we both know this won’t be the last time your roommate gravely offends you in this way, so we’ll make her pay next time. Each time your roommate complains about the cat, replace the cat with a slightly bigger cat. Do it gradually and subtly so your roommate is none the wiser. Eventually, she’ll end up cornered by a lion or tiger. Thankfully, the ensuing mess will be on her side of the house.

—Reveille