Dear Reveille, Park West Plaything

Dear Reveille,

 

I think I’m in love with a student athlete. But I think he’s playing me. He only asks me to come over at night, and he has a really high snap score and female following. I don’t want to be just another girl, so I think I need to do something drastic to get his attention. Should I date his teammate?

 

—Park West Plaything

 

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Dear Plaything,

 

We all know what “student athlete” means. A lacrosse player is not worth it, babe. As women, we need to be raising the standard for the men in our lives. If he’s not sleeping on the floor every time you get on his bed, he doesn’t deserve you! This transgression goes beyond trivial solutions like pissing on his bed or biting his side piece. Why date his teammates, when you could just date the coach?

 

If you think he’s playing you, then make sure he doesn’t play at all.This is the definition of self care–getting a man who will treat you right, preferably one without any ability to operate a social media account. Plus, have you seen the lacrosse coach’s mustache… woof… Shoot for the moon; even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars. <3

 

—Reveille