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Local Autumn Enthusiasts Dunk With Seasonal Beer

By Squat Pilgrim , in Campus Life , at November 11, 2022 Tags: , , ,

This month, local autumn enthusiasts began dunking their Aggie Rings in seasonal beer. The new choice of liquid caused a sour allspice smell to permeate entire neighborhoods when these beers were regurgitated.

Junior Kimberly Fraser, who took part in this seasonal take on the classic tradition, has no regrets. “I wanted to truly embody fall vibes this semester,” Fraser said.  “I thought, ‘what better way to do that than to literally pour a symbol for the season it down my throat?’ But the pumpkin ale didn’t stay down as well as I had planned.”

Although Fraser can no longer  enjoy her daily pumpkin cream cold brew without stirring up gross memories, she has maintained that her autumnal dunk was completely worth it.

However, Raul Stafford, Fraser’s neighbor, is feeling less festive following the seasonal celebration. “It smells like my dog ate 3 clearance candles from HomeGoods and blew chunks of it into my yard,” said Stafford. “The leaves here are not falling because of the weather, they’ve shriveled up and died from the stink. I’m just going to hole up in my place until December.”

 

— Squat Pilgrim