Impact Removes Director After Discovery of Blank Grindr Profile

In a statement last week, Impact Retreat announced the removal of a director due to “sinful and egregious” behaviors. The director in question was discovered to maintain a Grindr profile named “DL Masc Bro,” a blank profile listing only his height in the biography.

According to the statement, this unnamed director slipped up by sending a picture with his face exposed to another user, an Impact camper that attended last summer. Word spread quickly,  leaving Impact no choice but to remove the director.

“Honestly, I’m glad to be removed. Having to say ‘I’ll pray for you’ to every closeted camper I came across was weighing on my soul,” DL Masc Bro, who declined to reveal his true name, said. “If only Impact knew of the amount of staff tees I was passing around as shacker shirts.”

Shacker shirts are common in the collegiate community, acting as trophies for one-night stands and providing comfort on lonely walks of shame. “I actually have my shirt from DL Masc Bro hanging in a shadow box in my living room,” Brycen Cobb, a Grindr user, said. “I found it a little endearing that he prayed as he handed me the shirt before leaving my apartment.”

Impact could not be reached for comment, but their statement ensures that no condition of homoerotic behaviors is untreatable, ending with “Through a strong accountability partner, prayer, and men’s only bible studies, we can end this sinful behavior on our campus.”

 

— Crygon