University Disbands Busses to Address Traffic Concerns, Reduce Vehicles on Road

The beginning of the Fall 2022 semester has seen an unprecedented level of strain placed on the roadways of College Station. In an effort to address the ongoing traffic crisis,Texas A&M University announced in a Tuesday morning press conference that the Aggie Spirit Bus shuttle system would be disbanded.

“After weeks of carefully considering ways to resolve the gridlock that has plagued our students, my administration has determined that the best course of action will be to get as many vehicles off the road as possible,” a representative from Transportation Services said.

However, many students were quick to point out the shortcomings of this plan. “The president’s plan is only going to make things worse. By removing the buses, all those people will forget they have class. It’ll be a disaster for grades,” senior animal sciences major Trevor Morgan said.

Additionally, pundits have speculated that students who previously took the bus will now have to drive their own vehicle to class, potentially exacerbating the crisis.

When asked about this possibility, Transportation Services responded that ”We thankfully have more than enough parking on campus to accommodate all of our drivers.”

At press time, a leaked memo suggested Transportation Services is also considering permanently closing the Wellborn–George Bush intersection and building a large, impassable moat around the university to prevent traffic buildup.

 

— World War Weeaboo