Clashing Portable Speakers at Recruitment Banners Create Legendary Mash-Up
In an unprecedented incident within the Sbisa Plaza bannering community, portable speakers placed entirely too close together did not produce an incomprehensible, ear-splitting cacophony. Instead, a new sound was created by musical geniuses wasting their talent as recruitment officers in service orgs.
The impromptu composition by these maestri drew comparisons to works by Tony award-winning artist Lin-Manuel Miranda, such as “96,000” and “Non-Stop”, that feature an artistic layering of multiple hooks and refrains into a production-defining moment.
The breakthrough creation of this once-in-a-generation track comes after years of failed experimentation by duos that teamed up across organization lines in hopes of changing the industry. Reports indicate that Texas A&M University’s recent prioritization of performance studies comes to address the lack of consideration for tempo and genre displayed by students selecting songs to mash together at competing portable speakers.
Despite the instant praise that their euphonious tune received, the artists refused an encore, as their bannering shift had ended. A leaked copy of the two groups’ bannering sign-up sheet shows that the virtuosos are not scheduled to reunite until next Thursday, assuming neither asks another officer to take their shift.
— MSC ALITTLE
You’ve seen him, the phantom of the Memorial Student Center, lurking in the back of the lunch crowd. Perhaps you caught a glimpse of him darting in and out of various conference rooms. MSC ALITTLE is the CEO of overcommitment, and a sucker for any organization with a pithy acronym. His motives are a mystery. Clout chasing? Resume building? Maybe he just really likes the food at Rev’s. Whatever the case, we count ourselves lucky to be swept away to his lair in the basement, to be tutored in time management and seizing the day.