Recent Graduate Surprised to Hate Job After Years of Hating Major

This article originally appears in The Mugdown’s Fall 2022 print edition. To view a digital copy of the print edition, click here.

 

Taking time to accurately complete the College of Engineering post-graduation survey, chemical plant engineer Douglas Johnson ‘21 reportedly “strongly agreed” that his coursework prepared him for his career because of how accustomed he became to feeling miserable.

“I never made the connection that hating all of my college classes probably meant that I would hate my career as well,” Johnson said. “In college, I couldn’t wait for that six-figure salary to solve all my problems. Now, I can’t wait until next Thursday when I get to leave work early because of a dentist appointment.”

Despite initially planning to stay at the company for years, Johnson began searching for a new job after his second day of work. The recent recession, paired with Johnson having no actual work accomplishments, has led to recruiters ignoring his resume. However, co-workers report Johnson is outpacing the entire team in the number of times he raises and lowers his standing desk daily.

Although Johnson’s job satisfaction has yet to improve, he has been able to pick up new skills at work. “My refinery doesn’t allow me to wear a watch or use my phone for safety reasons, so I can’t even check how many hours until I leave,” Johnson said. “On late night shifts, I get pretty good at telling time from constellations.”

Quality-of-life scores at Johnson’s facility are consistently low, with a positive skew from outlier employees who majored in chemical engineering for a reason other than money. However, scores are expected to worsen following an announcement that employees must use vacation days when missing work for dentist and physician appointments.

 

—  Man in STEM & MSC ALITTLE