Maroon Porta-Potties to be Repainted Burnt Orange
In an effort to reignite an old rivalry, Texas A&M University will be repainting game day porta-potties burnt orange.
While these maroon portable toilets are considered a campus staple, many students are excited about the changes ahead. “It’s about time I had the opportunity to take a dump on t.u.,” said junior Sam Lithe while high-fiving his dad.
When reached for comment, the Office of the President defended the change. “As students return to campus, it is vital they find solidarity in an integral aspect of the Aggie Spirit: a collective hatred of the University of Texas.”
Depending on feedback from the current rollout, bathroom floors, toilet seats and garbage cans throughout campus may undergo similar renovations.
— Hannibal Lechner
While Hannibal might come across as some psychotic murderer, he’s really just a University Honors student, got it? Yeah sure, he makes prolonged eye contact as you pass by the couches in the Lechner hallway, and his intense obsession with true crime podcasts might make you uneasy, but he’s maybe only a little bit of a sociopath at best. Leave the serial killer vibes to McFadden, okay?