Tuesday, November 5, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Roommate Closes Personal Counseling Practice

By Milidairy Walk , in Campus Life , at August 30, 2022 Tags: , , ,

In a group message to her roommates, senior communication major Rebecca Schwertzman announced she was closing her personal counseling service. The text, sent after a lengthy crying session by her least favorite roommate, said, “That’s it guys, I can’t do this anymore. If you want to cry to someone, go find your own damn therapist or fix your own problem.”

Fallout from the message has been widely felt. One visitor to the home claimed that “a cloud of passive aggression settled over the house.” Sources confirmed that Schwertzman’s message received no replies, just sounds of loud slamming doors and exasperated sighs.

When speaking with The Mugdown, Schwertzman explained the rationale behind her message. “I’ve lived with these three girls for over two years now. Every week there’s some new drama, and I’m always the mom friend that has to talk it out with them. I can’t do it anymore, it’s exhausting!”

Aimee Kerr ‘23, one of Schwertzman’s roommates, denounced the message in a text to her sister. “It’s really a jerk move by Rebecca to do this. Yeah, sure I drunk-cried to her about my ex-boyfriend for two hours, but remember that one time I comforted her after a bad exam grade?”

Schwertzman later apologized for her message to the group, but included additional resources for actual, licensed therapists they could reach out to the next time they have a mental breakdown.

 

— Milidairy Walk