Aggies Enjoy Last Peaceful Saturday Before Military Bombardment Season
Relishing in the last weekend of relative peacefulness, Texas A&M University students took a nice walk around campus without being disturbed by cannon fire, fighter jets, or cavalry.
“I get that we have to remember our school’s history or whatever, but I really like waking up when my body wants and not whenever the fly-over happens,” said junior chemistry major Dan Woodfield. “I honestly enjoyed attending football games in high school, but I don’t love feeling like the campus is being shelled every time we score any points.”
Armed forces-related disruptions are not only felt on game day. On-campus students report being plagued each year by the late-night infantry invasion of Kyle Field.
“Walking back from the rec at night with headphones in is how I unwind,” said sophomore marketing major Alex Ortega. “Unfortunately, it’s really hard to hear my music when I cross paths with the band marching going to Midnight Yell.”
At press time, a representative from the Bush Combat Development Compex at the RELLIS campus confirmed that football season was the most important time to test new military tactics.
— MSC ALITTLE
You’ve seen him, the phantom of the Memorial Student Center, lurking in the back of the lunch crowd. Perhaps you caught a glimpse of him darting in and out of various conference rooms. MSC ALITTLE is the CEO of overcommitment, and a sucker for any organization with a pithy acronym. His motives are a mystery. Clout chasing? Resume building? Maybe he just really likes the food at Rev’s. Whatever the case, we count ourselves lucky to be swept away to his lair in the basement, to be tutored in time management and seizing the day.