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Clingy Student Emotionally Exhausted by Revolving Door of Academic Advisors

By Squat Pilgrim , in Campus Life , at May 3, 2022 Tags: , , ,

This morning, Grace Hodges left the Liberal Arts and Humanities Building after begging to be forced into a class, revealing her deep fear of failure and explaining what she had for breakfast to her new advisor. Eyewitnesses report that, upon exiting the building, Hodges proceeded to sit on a nearby outdoor bench and silently wipe away tears for half an hour.

“This new guy is alright, but I can’t help but feel like I’m not making the connection that I’m looking for.,” said Hodges after her advising session. “I swear I could see the Indeed homepage reflecting in his glasses. He’s clearly just not that into supporting my academic endeavors.”

When asked what her ideal advisor would be like, Hodges said she wants “someone who I can look forward to talking with, growing with, and doing life with. But, at this point, I guess I’m going to have to settle for someone who won’t stick around for more than a couple semesters.”

Alisha Dixon, a biomedical sciences  major and friend of Hodges, was leaving Evans library when she witnessed Hodge’s breakdown. Dixon sat next to her, patted her back and assured her that she could be her own advisor if she tried hard enough, as they never did much for her anyways.

 

— Squat Pilgrim