Anonymous Student Suspends VeoRide Bike in Higher Plane of Reality

Last Thursday, an anonymous Texas A&M University student shattered the laws of Newtonian physics by suspending a VeoRide bicycle in a higher plane of reality. This event is the latest development in the trend of students placing the rental bikes in high and unexpected places on campus.

Over the last several years, bicycles have been spotted atop Kyle Field, Sbisa Dining Hall, and other campus landmarks. Thursday’s stunt, however, marks a significant turning point in the trend. By irreparably puncturing the delicate fabric of space and time, the anonymous student was able to place a VeoRide bike in the sixteenth dimension, setting a new height record.

This accomplishment was confirmed by the National Academy of Sciences in a press release, which stated that, “While measuring the precise distance between the ground and a point whose coordinates do not comply with our current conceptualization of the universe is impossible, we do feel confident that the bike’s placement within a greater order of existence has earned this shenanigan the title of ‘Highest Bike’.”

While students celebrated the achievement online, university administrators reacted to the stunt with disapproval. “Yesterday’s event not only disrupted the fragile fiber of reality, it also violated university policy regarding rental bicycles on campus,” said Joe Ramirez, Vice President of Student Affairs, in a campus wide email on Friday evening. “As always, Texas A&M strongly denounces all forms of student misconduct, especially those that penetrate realms unfathomable to the human mind.”

 

— World War Weeaboo