MSC Wiley to Host Sauron Talk on International Affairs
After much anticipation, the MSC Wiley Lecture Series finally revealed the identity of their 2022 guest speaker to be Sauron, the Dark Lord and Ruler of Mordor.
The MSC Wiley Lecture Series has hosted many high-profile government officials and world leaders since its establishment in 1982, including Henry Kissinger, Margaret Thatcher, and Robert McFarlane. Sauron reportedly plans to deliver a similar lecture regarding international relations.
“It’s an honor to be invited to speak to our future leaders from the Bush School here at Texas A&M and to represent Mordor,” the Dark Lord said. “I am very excited to discuss my experiences with international affairs. Granted, my promotion of democracy and nation-building in Middle-earth has not always succeeded, but I’m here to share the lessons I’ve learned too.”
After several failed attempts to conquer all of Middle-earth, the Deceiver has since weighed in favor of more direct approaches such as economic sanctions on rogue states like Gondor. Sauron’s visit to Texas A&M University this year will detail his time as Ruler of Mordor and head of the Orc army stationed at Mount Doom and will mark the 40th Anniversary of the MSC Wiley Lecture Series.
Coming hot off lectures by Mike Pompeo and Robert Gates the past two years, Sauron’s “Middle-earth: Exercising Soft and Hard Power After the Age of Man” will focus on maintaining national interest abroad in the face of tensions across Endor. According to MSC Wiley, the event will be moderated by Saruman, the White Wizard, and tickets will be released via the MSC Box Office in the coming weeks.
— Plaid Libs
In order to fight the evil forces of (President Michael K. Young), Plaid Libs flew down from his birthplace in the cosmos to Earth, riding on a (frisky) ray of (tanks). Legend says that he is (45) years old, (17.32) feet tall, lives in (the back row of the Chem building lecture hall), and is positively brimming with (wetness). While fantastic at (vibing), he is a bit shy when it comes to his (garden). At the end of the day, though, The Mugdown keeps him around for his (30 rack). In order to summon him, chant the following words in front of an (anime body pillow) at (4:20) on a (Sunday): The (polyamorous) (cuckhold) (cannonballs) at sundown.