Top 10 Erected Buildings on Campus
- Melbourne G. Glasscock Building
The Glasscock building is probably the most well-known building named after a penis on campus and is the first in a long, long line of buildings with a phallic label. Its brick and mortar architecture is as hard as the building is wide, so don’t be deceived by its fragile-sounding name.
- J.R. “Dick” Thompson Hall
Named after “Dick” Thompson, the Thompson building does deserve an honorary mention. Last year, the Thompson building experienced a sewage leak and got covered in fecal matter, but who hasn’t experimented in college?
- Pump House
As the un-hung hero of RELLIS, the Pump House is responsible for showering the acres of the satellite campus’s manicured grass in nature’s nectar. I know the powerful suction and discharge pressures of the pumps in the building have induced cavitation in me on more than one occasion.
- Cox-McFerrin Center
In case you did not know, the Cox-McFerrin Center is the home of the Aggie Basketball program. Despite the team’s performance issues in past years, Texas A&M’s ball-handling on offense has not left fans as disappointed this season.
- Doug Pitcock Texas A&M Hotel and Conference Center
Coming in at number six on our list, the Pitcock Hotel allows former students to relive their glory days by spending one more unforgettable night on campus. With a pool, bar, and view of Kyle Field, the Pitcock Hotel is fun for the whole family.
- The Peterson Building
You may know the Peterson building as the one next to Evans that just got updated, but don’t worry, it’s not compensating. Peterson is finally complete after being under construction for several years, so just like the computer science majors, this is the first time it’s seen any action in years.
- WWTP Primary Pump Building
Coming in at number four on our list is the WWTP Primary Pump Building. You may never have heard of the Primary Pump Building, but you’ve definitely felt its power if you’ve been on RELLIS. It can be found right next to the Pump House, and many consider it “the hidden giant”.”
- Wehner Building
- WWTP Secondary Pump Building
Most people will move on after seeing the Primary Pump building, but you should not underestimate its smaller, girthier sibling. It’s small but impactful, and it’s definitely one to take home to Mom and Dad.
- ESTI Drill Tower & Hose Loads
Most students may not be familiar with these buildings, but they can be found around the fire training field on RELLIS. We have all seen those firefighter calendars— there’s no mistaking those hoses. If your date this weekend with that firefighter student goes well, you guys will definitely end up at these two buildings (in that order).
— Plaid Libs
In order to fight the evil forces of (President Michael K. Young), Plaid Libs flew down from his birthplace in the cosmos to Earth, riding on a (frisky) ray of (tanks). Legend says that he is (45) years old, (17.32) feet tall, lives in (the back row of the Chem building lecture hall), and is positively brimming with (wetness). While fantastic at (vibing), he is a bit shy when it comes to his (garden). At the end of the day, though, The Mugdown keeps him around for his (30 rack). In order to summon him, chant the following words in front of an (anime body pillow) at (4:20) on a (Sunday): The (polyamorous) (cuckhold) (cannonballs) at sundown.