Sex in Evans? Here’s What The Floor You Choose Says About You!

Looking for a hot new way to connect with your boo while hitting the books? Whether you’re in desperate need of a study break or just looking to spice things up, Evans Library has six sexy floors to choose from. Keep reading to learn what floor you choose says about you!

Floor 1: You’re daring, you don’t care what people think of you, or maybe you just enjoy making love to the sound of colored printers. Either way, this is a bold choice, but we respect it.

Floor 2: You’re moving up in the world, and by moving up we mean you made it up one set of stairs before losing all control. There’s plenty of background noise, so you’re the kind of person who can take a risk but still wants to play it safe.

Floor 3: Sex on a silent floor? That could be risky business depending on the activity level, but hey, anyone stuck studying on a silent floor could probably use the entertainment every now and then. You’re not afraid of consequences and are probably just looking for a good story to tell.

Floor 4: This floor is probably your best bet in terms of keeping things on the down-low, so you might be on the shier side. It’s the loudest floor by far, and if you can snag a study room, you’re all set for a steamy secret study break.

Floor 5: You’re the type of person that needs silence to focus on the task at hand. It is another quiet floor though, so beware of that student in class who is required to keep her camera on.

Floor 6: Let’s be honest, if you’ve made it this far up, you don’t care about who sees and hears you while you’re at it. But lucky for you, despite this being a mostly quiet floor, it’s not technically a silent floor. Happy humping!

 

— Hannibal Lechner