University Excused Absences Requested For Freshmen Going to Prom
In a shocking move, freshman class president Anthony Calascione put forward a motion to Texas A&M University administration requesting one full day of excused absences for significant others of high school students to allow them to attend prom. The proposed amendment to the student rules would add support for college partners to “[be] present for the most important step in a young, serious relationship.”
The initiative is largely backed by freshmen from Houston suburbs such as Cypress, Katy, and The Woodlands. Calascione himself has a stake in this amendment, as his significant other is a senior at Katy High School. With most Houston-area cities being within an hour and a half drive from College Station, anywhere from 65-75% of age-separated relationships from this part of Texas stay together when one attends Texas A&M, as boasted by Calascione. This success rate shows a significant increase from the national average of 24%. These students argue that since they are such a large demographic, the university should consider granting them an excused absence policy.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said General Joe Ramirez, the Vice President of Student Affairs when reached for comment.
Time will only tell if the motion will be approved, but what is undeniable is the inseparable bonds between college freshmen and high school seniors, divided by miles but united by the unstoppable force of love.
— Century Swingers
If there’s one thing the members of the Century Club know better than soliciting donations, it’s swinging. Regardless of age, gender, or income, these people are serious about cutting loose and swinging to their hearts’ content. And by swinging, we do mean swing sets. The Association’s master swinger, Century Swingers, is a pro at installing any type of swing: tree swings, rope swings, porch swings, sawhorse swings, you name it. Rumor has it he once went the full loop around a swing set, but we’ve yet to see it happen.