The Mugdown’s College-Specific Fashion Guide
Fashion is something we take very seriously here at The Mugdown. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, we want to give our readers the best shot at impressing that cutie across the classroom. In order to do so, we conducted extensive research through classroom audits to provide the biggest colleges with the best course of action when it comes to dressing themselves for class.
Mays Business School: We know you have your eye on that future investment banker in FINC 341. Why don’t you say something? Oh, it must be because you are wearing worn out Converse and your high school homecoming shirt. Business casual is a must (designer brands preferred), although anything from Mays Exchange will work in a pinch. Just make sure to wear your Mays hat no matter what, otherwise they may think you are just a business minor.
College of Engineering: We hope we caught you on your way to lab, because jeans and tennis shoes would not fly anywhere else. Although you may be embarrassed by the goggle marks on your face, you cannot hide in that Zachry study room forever. That cute SEC girl is just around the corner and waiting for you to buy her a coffee at Starbucks. Ditch the Toyota polo and zip-up hoodie for a Tesla shirt if you really want to impress her. Don’t forget to take a shower or put on some deodorant before walking up to her (we heard girls don’t like greasy hair and the smell of a day-old Red Bull).
College of Liberal Arts: As the great Mark Twain once said, “Clothes make the man.” For many of you, thrifted jeans that are four sizes too big and knockoff Doc Martens are the norm. However, you are not going to impress anybody outside of the Liberal Arts and Humanities building with that fit. Upgrade to some Hokas and Lululemon, and stop wasting time poring over old books and poems. The only reading you should be doing is reading the room for a new honey.
College of Agriculture and Life Sciences: Duck hunting season just ended, so there’s no need for the camo jacket. A Carhartt will do just fine. We also reckon you keep on your boots and khakis or whitewash Wranglers. Honestly, as long as you are avoiding Crocs and Hey Dudes, you are in the clear.
Athletes: This may not be a major, but we know it is the only reason you are here. You deserve a spot on this list because you probably have the best drip out of anyone we know. However, we would be surprised if you guys had anything in your wardrobe without an Adidas logo on it. Maybe it’s all free, but surely you have some other options than that faded maroon tracksuit. Honestly, we would probably also spend our money on Gucci slides if we had an NIL contract, but we are just looking for some off-the-court creativity.
If these tips and tricks have opened your eyes to a new world of fashion possibilities, you are welcome. If you still choose to stay stuck in your old ways after this whole list, then best of luck when February 14th rolls around—you will need it.
— House Boyz II Men & Batt for Both Teams
