FLO Clique Ready to Ditch Lame Peers, Become Next Year’s Staff
Last Friday, members of the campus organization Freshmen Understanding Universal Lessons (FUUL) were overheard discussing how tired they were of other freshmen in FUUL and how ready they were to be “on staff with the other actually cool people.” The group took turns talking about which FUUL committee they would lead next year and where they would take their committee reveal photos.
“I’m most excited to help my freshman find their lifelong friends, just like I did,” said Jayden Olaez, a freshman and current member of FUUL. “I was able to identify at the first meeting who in FUUL will be at my wedding and who I will never talk to all year, so I have all the expertise necessary to help next year’s freshmen create a similar divide.”
During an informational on staff positions held the following night, the mood of the clique noticeably soured. “I can’t believe this year’s staff is taking questions from the other freshmen,” said Shannon Ming, a freshman in the FUUL cool clique. “It’s been obvious all year how much staff missed the mark during admissions, but now I’m starting to think they’re going to give the other freshmen staff positions out of pity.”
Minutes later, the group’s demeanor had drastically improved when Ming pointed out that they could always start a cooler FLO if they didn’t get staff for FUUL.
— MSC ALITTLE
You’ve seen him, the phantom of the Memorial Student Center, lurking in the back of the lunch crowd. Perhaps you caught a glimpse of him darting in and out of various conference rooms. MSC ALITTLE is the CEO of overcommitment, and a sucker for any organization with a pithy acronym. His motives are a mystery. Clout chasing? Resume building? Maybe he just really likes the food at Rev’s. Whatever the case, we count ourselves lucky to be swept away to his lair in the basement, to be tutored in time management and seizing the day.