Intramural Sports Just School-Sanctioned Bullying
Each year, more than 13,000 Texas A&M University students face the wrath of high school C-team athletes trying to relive their subpar glory days in the recreational division of intramural leagues. Regular, run-of-the-mill students not blessed with the athleticism and vigor of these hallowed teams lay vulnerable and exposed in the shadow of their opponents’ greatness.
“I was always too shy to try any new sports in high school, so intramurals seemed like a great chance to step outside of my comfort zone. But I let the frisbee slip through my fingers in my team’s second game, and then I got kicked from the group,” said Peggy Peters, a once-optimistic freshman who now cries herself to sleep every night. With the excuse that some sports naturally breed a more competitive environment than others, thousands of students are now being bullied in the name of friendly competition.
The Texas A&M approach to teaching emphasizes real-world applications of coursework to achieve academic excellence and success in future careers. With these core values of education in mind, intramural sports simulate a work environment filled with discrimination and prejudice in every game played. No company wants to hire a conceited undergraduate student still under the assumption that their degree alone will prepare them for adult working life. The public humiliation students endure in intramural sports molds them from worthless human beings into star Aggie alumni and working class humans.
— BIMS and Snap
One day after a particularly rough organic chemistry lab, BIMS and Snap needed a pick-me-up. After haphazardly driving her black, convertible Porsche down Texas Avenue, she screeched into the parking lot of the vet school, certain that a new sweatshirt from the College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences store would do the trick. As she was walking into VIDI, she saw an absolute hunk of a third-year vet student in a form-fitting white lab coat. Unsure of what to do, BIMS and Snap threw her lab goggles to the ground, dropped to grab them, and quickly snapped back up, hoping to get the vet student’s attention. Since the world is not like “Legally Blonde,” the vet student called CAPS, who recommended that BIMS and Snap channel her need for attention into something a little more productive, like satirical journalism.