Tuesday, November 5, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Intramural Sports Just School-Sanctioned Bullying

By BIMS and Snap , in Intramural Hate Week , at November 18, 2021 Tags: , , , ,

Each year, more than 13,000 Texas A&M University students face the wrath of high school C-team athletes trying to relive their subpar glory days in the recreational division of intramural leagues. Regular, run-of-the-mill students not blessed with the athleticism and vigor of these hallowed teams lay vulnerable and exposed in the shadow of their opponents’ greatness.

“I was always too shy to try any new sports in high school, so intramurals seemed like a great chance to step outside of my comfort zone. But I let the frisbee slip through my fingers in my team’s second game, and then I got kicked from the group,” said Peggy Peters, a once-optimistic freshman who now cries herself to sleep every night. With the excuse that some sports naturally breed a more competitive environment than others, thousands of students are now being bullied in the name of friendly competition.

The Texas A&M approach to teaching emphasizes real-world applications of coursework to achieve academic excellence and success in future careers. With these core values of education in mind, intramural sports simulate a work environment filled with discrimination and prejudice in every game played. No company wants to hire a conceited undergraduate student still under the assumption that their degree alone will prepare them for adult working life. The public humiliation students endure in intramural sports molds them from worthless human beings into star Aggie alumni and working class humans.

 

— BIMS and Snap