4.0 Student Fails IM Leagues Content Quiz
Earlier this week, physics sophomore Rebecca Stevenson was seen by witnesses hyperventilating in the MSC Flag Room after failing the IMLeagues softball quiz for the third time in a row.
“I don’t know what I’m getting wrong! I studied the rules and regulations handbook for an hour last night. I even made a Quizlet,” Stevenson said through wheezing sobs. “I’m the social chair for my SLO, and if I’m not on the softball team, it would be humiliating!”
Rebecca has previously boasted on Twitter about her Dean’s List award and has been described by classmates as “the girl in class who nods her head aggressively to make it clear that she’s paying more attention than anyone else.”
In order to achieve a passing grade on any intramural quiz, one needs to get every question right, unlike most quizzes where a passing grade is equivalent to a specific percentage. Some questions are simple, such as asking if one agrees to a certain set of rules set by IMLeagues. However, some go into the specifics regarding the sport and game itself, such as how many innings are in a game or the proper equipment needed in order to play.
While students with common sense will cheat, the try-hards who sit in the front row and insist on getting the right answers through hard work and dedication will never be able to participate in intramural sports.
— Sharts and Rec
One day, Sharts and Rec was getting ready to go and get his pump on in the Student Rec Center. As any self-respecting, muscle-bound man would, he slammed a 64 ounce protein shake in the parking lot before he went to hit legs. At minute 37 of his workout, tragedy struck. Sharts and Rec was maxing out his squat when he felt a rumble deep in his large intestine. The protein shake was back with a vengeance. Choosing to trust his colonic muscle control, Sharts and Rec descended. In what could only be described as a peal of thunder, Sharts and Rec pooped his Gym Shark shorts, etching himself into the annals of the Rec weight room history.