Fan of Historically Successful College Football Program Convinced His Team is Cursed
A recent poll conducted by The Mugdown found that over 70% of Texas A&M University football fans believe the program is cursed with bad luck and is among one of the most unlucky teams in the sport. When asked for words or terms they associated with the program, the most common responses were “disappointment,” “emotional rollercoaster,” “collapse,” and “cursed.”
“I’ve been following this team my whole life, and it seems like year after year they let me down,” said Jake Henson, a junior education major and third-generation Aggie. “I relate heavily to fans of schools like Kansas and Vanderbilt. We’re like the Chicago Cubs of college football.”
According to Mugdown sports statisticians, comparing the Aggies to the Chicago Cubs would actually be unfair to Chicago. The Cubs have the third most wins and sixth-best win percentage in major league history, while the Aggies have only the sixteenth most wins and twenty-fifth-best win percentage in college football history. Both fan bases only have three championships apiece to hold on to, leading to the logical assumption that both would feel equally cursed.
In the poll, many respondents indicated that they suffered from self-diagnosed Battered-Aggie Syndrome (known more commonly as BAS), a PTSD-like condition where fans of Texas A&M football are now afraid of success after having been let down so many times.
When asked what it would take for the team to overcome this reputation, Henson said, “Just a little more consistency would be great. A few SEC titles, a championship or two, that’s really all we’re asking for.”
— Kushing Library
Don’t get the wrong impression, Kushing Library is a hard worker, but when he heard the university libraries don’t drug test their interns, it was love at first light. If you’re the studious type, you can occasionally hear the soft crackle of his dab pen from deep within the A&M archives. Get to know him, and he might even share Arya Stark’s Catspaw dagger that he hollowed out into his own personal pipe.