REPORT: Dude in Front Row of Lecture Hall Definitely Still a Little Drunk
Wednesday morning, senior management major Andrew Gomes attended his 8:00 a.m. MGMT 424 lecture still slightly intoxicated after a night out.
Sources close to Gomes report he intended to only have one or two margaritas at Los Cucos on Tuesday night but was later seen leaving the Northgate Domino’s around 2:30 a.m.. Gomes used his roommate’s bike to get to class, as his roommate had not gone to Northgate but was skipping class to sleep anyway.
“I had the spins and I kept falling asleep in between the professor calling on me,” Gomes said. “But I think I played it cool enough that no one noticed too much.” (Editor’s note: the professor of the class had noticed both the smell of alcohol and Gomes’s delayed speech almost immediately.)
Per the syllabus, Gomes’s MGMT 424 course allows three unexcused absences per semester, and he would have skipped the class to nurse his Wednesday scaries, had he not used the last absence the Monday after the Alabama game.
“He tried to laugh it off afterward,” said classmate Charlie Jennings. “He said, ‘You know what they say: you can’t be hungover if you’re still drunk.’ And then he threw up.”
— Aggie FacePlant
Ahhhh, a breath of stale College Station air thanks to yours truly. Environmentally conscious and clumsy at their core, Aggie FacePlant lives for the outdoors. Her leaves are full of secrets and her roots run deep throughout Texas A&M. She hides in camouflage but is always growing up something good. Is that poison ivy or cannabis? If Aggie FacePlant has anything to do with it, it’s probably both. Global warming is the least of your problems when Aggie Facplant is around.