Festive Pumpkin Patch Purchase to Rot on Porch Until Winter Break

Last Thursday, Francine Miller went with her women’s organization, Aggie Quartz, to the Habitat for Humanity Pumpkin Patch. After posing for 20 minutes with a miniature pumpkin on her head, Miller contemplated adopting some of the pumpkins in need of a home to decorate her front porch. Supported by her sisterhood, she made the decision to purchase two full-sized pumpkins, a miniature white pumpkin, and a gourd that she will let rot for eight weeks before going home for winter break.

After purchasing her new pumpkins, Miller finally felt like autumn had arrived, despite the heat index of 88 degrees Fahrenheit. Upon arrival at her home, Miller and three of her roommates carved the two large pumpkins. The miniature pumpkin was painted with a cute smiley face and spooky pun before all three creations were proudly placed on the porch, where they will remain rotting until mid-December.

Meanwhile, Miller’s gourd was used with a garland of fall leaves to create an autumnal centerpiece for their bar counter. Though it took up all the usable eating space, it was a small sacrifice for the seasonal atmosphere it created. The gourd is projected to last for only four weeks until falling to the inevitable march of time and being thrown out with the rest of the moldy fruit.

The pumpkins on the front porch, however, will fare “far too long,” according to Miller’s friend, who will raise concerns about the collapsed, moldy winter squash next to her doorstep when visiting for Friendsgiving. Miller will be confused, as “pumpkins last forever and we barely just got them the other day. It’s probably just like, some dirt.”

When packing her Buick Encore for the three-hour drive back home at the end of the semester, Miller will not be able to help but notice the repugnant smell coming from the rotting carcasses of her once-beloved pumpkins. Eight weeks after purchase, she will place them in the trash bin to return to the earth they came from. All that will remain of the pumpkins are Miller’s fond memories of adopting them and the permanent stain next to their door.

 

– Radio Reveille & Century Tree Hugger