Total Dipshit Bested by Evans Second Floor Bump

According to breaking coverage provided by eyewitnesses on the scene, you have just tripped on that little incline on the second floor of Evans Library. Initial reports indicate that, yes, everyone is laughing at you.

Though you did not fall or injure yourself, your peers are undoubtedly already mocking your misfortune. Dozens of students were witness to the event, but Mugdown reporters have not yet been able to confirm if the cute girl you were meeting for a study date saw it happen.

Regardless, your embarrassment is palpable to everyone on the second floor and at Texas A&M University. The severity of this incident has already prompted a statement from the Texas A&M administration.

“We understand the situation is still developing, but we felt it necessary to address this as soon as possible,” said Texas A&M President M. Katherine Banks. “The secondhand embarrassment has been felt across our university, and we must stand together, especially in times like this.”

The bump has claimed the dignity of many students since the completion of Evans Library’s renovation in 2018, but experts agree this is the most embarrassing trip to date. Some suggest the architects of the renovation should be charged with gross negligence for your humiliation, but many critics argue it was entirely your fault and have already posted videos of you online.

The Mugdown will continue to provide updates as the story develops, but we do not expect you to ever recover from this incident. At time of publication, you have reportedly gone into hiding in the bathroom stalls next to the elevators.

 

— Plaid Libs