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Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Old Ag Insists Two Girls Under Century Tree Just “Really Good Friends”

By Sharts and Rec , in Local News , at October 12, 2021 Tags: , , , , , ,

When visiting campus for last weekend’s football game, Walter Stevens, class of 1964, was surprised to see two girls embracing underneath the Century Tree. He then commented in a TexAgs forum about how disappointed he was to see time-honored traditions not being followed correctly.

“The Century Tree is only for romance and not for people who are just really good friends,” said Stevens, operating under the screen name RedassRebelArmy. “I mean, I know there’s a friendship branch, so I don’t understand why those ladies felt the need to go under the main, heterosexual branch.”

The idea of LGBTQ+ individuals attending Texas A&M University continues to perplex former students. From the extreme difficulty they have when attempting to pronounce “L-G-B-T-Q” to the protests at Draggieland, Old Ags frequently refuse to acknowledge that this is not the same school they attended back in “the good ole days.”

Another TexAgs user posting under the pseudonym BTHOCommies supported Steven’s post in a comment. “I saw the same thing just last week when I was visiting my son,” said BTHOCommies. “A girl got down on one knee for her friend as if she was proposing! I guess it’s just an inside joke between roommates or something — but still, I hate to see our treasured tradition mocked by New Army.”

 

— Sharts and Rec