Evangelist Not Religious Either
While walking to class this past Friday, freshman Greg Stiller was accosted by a woman holding a Bible. Upon learning that Stiller was not religious and had no interest in learning more about her faith, the woman also claimed to not be religious either in an attempt to fabricate common ground and waste more of Stiller’s time.
Sporting a “God is Greater Than the Highs and Lows” tattoo, the evangelist claimed to also grapple with her faith. Stiller’s attempts to slip away still proved futile as the woman asked him more well-meaning questions that were unfortunately predicated on his belief in the Christian God.
The woman reportedly asked if Stiller would be interested in exploring his agnosticism further at Tuesday bible studies. At press time, Stiller’s plans do not include attending meetings to discuss his non-existent faith.
— Ring Chunks
No, Ring Chunks is feeling fine, really. Yeah, it was a long journey to the bottom of the pitcher, but she knew that coming into her dunk. That’s why she made sure to let it sit overnight and pick a light beer she didn’t care for and – oh. Oh no. Um, okay, let’s just move her here to the trash can – wait, why is it full? Oh God, Ring Chunks, just keep it together until we can reach the toilet – NO! NOT IN THE KITCHEN SINK!