Aggie Spirit Bus Driver Stunned to Discover Passengers

This semester, Texas A&M University’s bus services were reinstated at full running capacity, transporting an average of 48,000 passengers a day. However, survey results released last week reveal that 80% of Aggie Spirit bus drivers report they had not been aware of the presence of passengers on their buses until recently.

“I figured something was going on back there,” said student driver Lynn Hewitt. “When I turned around to see what the commotion was, there were tons of people sitting on my bus. I was like, what are you doing here? Do you need something? And why are there people standing right in front of my two-minute parking spot?”

Some attribute the overwhelming failure of drivers to realize passengers actually ride the Aggie Spirit buses to the decreased number of students using buses as their primary form of transport over the past year. Now, upon the realization that passengers will ride their routes, some bus drivers are realizing their driving style must change if there are going to be witnesses.

“I’m honestly just mortified that there were probably people who experienced my last shift,” said Tyler Hudson, another student driver. “I was listening to my metal playlist on the speakers and taking the curves a little fast, so I may have clipped a tree in the Trigon area. At least, I hope it was a tree.”

Bus riders have reportedly arrived at their destinations either 30 minutes ahead of schedule or never get picked up at all, decimating class attendance.

Some students are taking “passenger awareness measures” to remind drivers to acknowledge their lives, such as waving both hands excitedly while speedwalking the last three feet to the bus doors and loudly shouting if drivers are headed towards stationary objects.

 

— Squat Pilgrim