Texas A&M to Introduce ECEN 105: Intro to Analog Clocks
To the bewilderment of many students attending in-person classes for the first time, the majority of the clocks on campus have remained decades-old analog machines. Students, unable to read the clocks of yore, have found themselves running late for their classes and scrambling to be punctual for their organization meetings.
In a recent interview with the interim dean of the College of Engineering, it was revealed that the college had plans to implement ECEN 105: Intro to Analog Clocks. The course aims to amend both the mass reduction in class attendance and the increase in lecture tardiness due to student inability to complete tasks learned in the second grade.
Growing up with an Apple watch slapped on her wrist at the age of nine impacted Jill Simpson, a sophomore construction science major, more than anticipated. “A high school education did not prepare me for the unfair environment that Texas A&M would impose on me and my friends by not providing digital clocks. To expect me to still make it to my classes every day in these conditions is unjust,” Simpson said.
“I was waiting in the hallway for my class to start for over four hours, but by the time I walked in at 6:10, it turned out my 2:30 class had long been let out.” Simpson’s professors claim that she attended only four lectures in the entire spring semester and that her fall attendance was looking similarly poor.
The ECEN 105 course syllabus includes a comprehensive exam that consists of identifying clock hands, labeling tick marks, and reading the current time on an analog clock. The professors of the course are excited about impacting the lives of thousands of students and giving them the resources to excel in their future careers and daily lives.
— BIMS and Snap
One day after a particularly rough organic chemistry lab, BIMS and Snap needed a pick-me-up. After haphazardly driving her black, convertible Porsche down Texas Avenue, she screeched into the parking lot of the vet school, certain that a new sweatshirt from the College of Veterinary Medicine and Biomedical Sciences store would do the trick. As she was walking into VIDI, she saw an absolute hunk of a third-year vet student in a form-fitting white lab coat. Unsure of what to do, BIMS and Snap threw her lab goggles to the ground, dropped to grab them, and quickly snapped back up, hoping to get the vet student’s attention. Since the world is not like “Legally Blonde,” the vet student called CAPS, who recommended that BIMS and Snap channel her need for attention into something a little more productive, like satirical journalism.