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What Does Your Cadet Haircut Say About You?

By Quadbuck Naked , in Corps of Cadets , at September 22, 2021 Tags: , , , , ,

This article originally appeared in The Mugdown’s Fall 2021 print edition. To view a digital copy of the print edition, click here.

The 5 Finger White Wall

There’s nothing quite like a five finger white wall with a two on top, better known as a fish cut. With this haircut, there’s no doubt that you are the bottom of the totem pole, the punching bag of the Corps. You went from high school hero to zero faster than you could drop down and do twenty push-ups. If you have this haircut, odds are you are either falling asleep in class or having a daily internal debate on whether all this suffering will be worth it. Probably both.

 

The Chia Pet

This haircut lets everyone around you know you don’t care about the Corps anymore. It’s definitely been three or four weeks since you’ve gotten a haircut, but who’s counting anyway? Definitely not you. Only white belts or really burnt out pissheads sport this cut.

 

The Slick Back

This haircut looks inconspicuous when your bider is on, but take it off to reveal an out-of-regulation cut on top that knows how to party and doesn’t care about discipline. Only for the boldest of cadets, this hairstyle is sure to cause a scene.

 

The Hard Part

Reserved for the Corps elite, this haircut says it all. Though it was banned by the Commandant several years ago for not looking “military” enough, it has rebounded back harder than the Aggies after hiring Jimbo Fisher. You are definitely in a leadership position or involved off the quad if you’re rocking this bootchaser favorite.

 

The Bob Cut

Wags sporting this hairstyle are sending a clear message that they’re the alphas. You have more important things to be doing than spending twenty minutes every morning putting your hair in a bun. If you’re a true Corps baddie, you are definitely rocking this hairstyle.

 

— Quadbuck Naked